🌄 Day 317/365
Alright. Recognizing my own deterioration happening, I’m taking bigger steps to protect my mental and physical health. I *cannot* be all things to all people. There’s too much up in the air right now and I’m having to coordinate a lot of logistics. Colin’s birthday on the 6th was largely ignored because neither of us had the strength to acknowledge it. I am now making plans to rejuvenate. I’m cutting back on what I cannot accomplish. I recognize my limitations and I’m leaving room for rest, and most importantly, hope. I need those things to be of any use right now, yeah? I’ve recognized that I am so much of a people-pleaser that I end up suffering instead of taking necessary time to recuperate. And then I get overwhelmed and sick. I’ve been getting headaches and having nightmares and I need to give my brain some room to breathe. Ideally my mom’s procedures will happen later this week, but I accept that they likely will not. I’m not going to be upset over it, I’m going to take it in stride and move forward. I’m not going to continue suffering under stress. I’m going to sleep, stand up, live a little, and tackle what I’m capable of. I will make time for my own needs. And I’m going to forgive myself for what I simply cannot do. I feel much more empowered today, which is exactly what I need to make it through the next few unpredictable weeks. Thank you to everyone reminding me to first and foremost take care of myself. I think I’m finally listening.
This sunrise was captured in Kihei, Maui at 5:50am on the 10th of May, 2023.
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