🌄 Day 318/365
Focusing on the good news because that’s how I keep my head above water right now. My mom’s covid cough has improved and she doesn’t sound congested anymore. I found and arranged lodging and care for her dog and coordinated transporting the dog from one place to another on two days notice from across an ocean. (Thank you, Betty!) I left the house for the first time in what feels like years (it’s been one week exactly since my mom’s heart stopped while she was alone in her condo), just to eat and do a couple of errands while I had the chance, and to get a much needed change of scenery from the inside of my apartment. I confirmed a two day break for next week that will hopefully clear and improve my mental health by being in nature and around people I’ve grown to care about on this little island. I’m continuing to forgive myself for what I cannot do and feel accomplished for the small amount I can. Today is another day that a major procedure is scheduled for my mom, one that we’re both nervous about but that’s necessary for her survival, to put it bluntly. Modern technology is truly amazing, even if it does require surgery to implement. Hoping (praying? I don’t really pray anymore) that her doctors are exceedingly sharp in their skills today. After everything that’s happened over the last week, I’m prepared for it to be postponed yet again, but I’m trusting that the timing is finally correct, and that she’s able to have a second procedure tomorrow. (It’s hard to battle cardiac arrest and cancer at the same time, not to mention the added bonus of covid.) It’s set to be a big day, and I will be alone for most of it, as Colin will be gone working for nearly 10 hours.
But I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
Tonight there will be a bit of relief. I have to believe and focus on that.
This sunrise was captured in Kihei, Maui at 5:50am on the 11th of May, 2023.
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