Day 313 • The 6th of May, 2023

🌄 Day 313/365

Everything remains stable with my mom. We’re still in a holding pattern.

I spoke with a friend yesterday for a little while whose mom died of cancer in his 20s and his dad is battling it now. He had a lot of wisdom and advice for me. Much of it dealt with how to handle doctors and nurses and medical people who might not be as personally invested in my mom’s health as I am, and how to be firm but kind when dealing with them. Strength and warmth is how to get people to listen to you, but by all means, go hardcore. MAKE them listen. There’s something common in the medical field called Diffusion of Responsibility in which each professional essentially hands off responsibility to another professional and no one takes personal, invested oversight in my mom’s care. We’re definitely experiencing that.

He also reminded me that it’s absolutely crucial that I take care of myself. This situation is incredibly hard on me as well and it’s important to recognize and accept that. I need to be eating, sleeping, showering, reaching out to friends, all the things necessary for my own mental and physical health, things I’m often bad at when I get stressed. But I’ll be of no use to anyone if I don’t, and I’ll just feel worse in the meantime. 

So that’s what I’m trying to do right now. Take care of myself, look out for my mom, and be gentle with myself when it’s difficult. I normally don’t reach out to people, and I think I did so in a moment of desperation, but I’m very glad I did. I started following his advice immediately and I already feel more capable. One foot in front of the other. Day by day.

This sunrise was captured in Kihei, Maui at 5:52am on the 6th of May, 2023.

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